A few years back, I learn the keys to ending all my suffering forever.
A crazy statement, right, but it’s true. We create our own suffering. Many of us are even addicted to suffering & drama. I was.
I know you can think of at least one & likely more whom identity is wrapped up in being the victim. They wear their suffering like a badge of honor. They speak with deep sighs. ” Hi, how are you”? Well, Drake, Sighhhhhh… not very good. My kids aren’t talking to me & I think I have some (fill in the blank) disease… Then they proceed to spend the next 20 minutes telling how life sucks & it is not their fault in any way. Life just hates them. Know anyone like this?
We create our own suffering by how we expect life to be rather than just letting it be what it is. It is our expectation that we create in our minds that lead us to disappointment. Life is not going to be all sunshine & roses. How boring would that be? Can you even imagine a life without challenges? How would we grow as a person? When you understand struggles are your friend, they cease to be your enemy & you begin to flow with challenges rather than let them blindside you & devastate you. Suffering is our teacher if we have the eyes to see & the ears to hear. The most devastating things in my life were the things that taught me the most significant lessons & made the most remarkable changes for me. I could have rolled over & wallowed, but had I done so; the lesson would have come back around until I would have learned it. It would create a cycle in my life gradually getting worse until I face it. God/Universe loves you too much to let you sit in your own shit.
Here is an example many can relate to. I was dysfunctional & codependent in all my relationships. One day I found myself in the granddaddy of all bad relationships. I finally took a look at what the Universe was trying to tell me. I realized I was in the same relationship over & over, just a different face. Each relationship progressively got worse each time. I saw the cycle I was trapped in for the first time. The last one was so bad I had to take a look at myself, the one common denominator. Why was I attracted to these kinds of people? Why were they attracted to me? I wouldn’t say I liked any of the answers. But I found wisdom in my suffering. I dug deep & found the root of my pain & I have since healed it. I was 50 years old & had never been in a healthy relationship. How many of you have a similar story? If I had been listening to my suffering, I could have figured this out decades ago, but I did not see the lesson. The beautiful lesson that now has changed my entire existence & set me free to love without fear. To give all of me to people who deserve me. I celebrate that person in that perfect storm relationship. I owe them a great debt. I can bless them & not carry any negative feelings for them. They set me free. Had they not been so horrible, I would never have woken up to my own shit.
Now when a challenge presents itself. I don’t shy away. I ask the situation; “what can I learn & who can I help. We create addictions from the avoidance of pain. Pain is a part of life. It just is. To try to avoid pain creates suffering. Sure, some things we must do are unpleasant, but there are lessons of wisdom within them. We don’t really have good days or bad days. They are just days. It is our perspective, the label we attach to them, that makes them good or bad. When you have something in your morning, that throws you off & you feel that stress & anger rising. Stop & look at the situation with grace & chose not to let it ruin your day. It is the perspective you choose at that moment that will guide the momentum of your day. We are not slaves to our emotions but the masters of them.
I know you may say, well, you have this amazing life, of course, you don’t suffer. Look, we all have challenges & we need them to grow us as people.
When I learned this lesson, my life was not perfect. I was sick, really sick. My world was imploding all around me. I was diagnosed with heavy metal poisoning, my organs were failing, and I was in the most insane relationship. There were weeks where I could barely get out of bed. The pain was so constant I prayed for death. I was tossed in jail for 30 days over that relationship. Not a perfect life at all, but when I came to understand that I caused my suffering by my expectation, they were here to free me. When I learned to flow with my lessons, peace came into my being & has never left.
Embrace the storms of life. They are here to wash away the poop in our lives, not to harm us.